Relationships

Last night, my husband Toby and I were taking stock on our relationship and marriage. And we wondered if we would even have considered being in a relationship if we were both more personality aligned as opposed to being more holistically inclined in terms of our personal development. If I had met Toby more than 15 years ago, I would have been too drunk to know what I was doing anyway!

Relationships play important roles in our personal growth and development. Often times, addicts may experience a lot of loneliness or feelings of isolation. I remember being with many friends all the time and yet there was a distinct sense of isolation and loneliness in my drinking days. Because I hid it from my family it made the experience even more lonely. I was afraid of being judged and I became defensive as well. This of course only made things worse.

Looking back, I know people who were close to me would have helped me willingly if I had asked. I was involved in a series of dysfunctional romantic relationships (surprise surprise) but I had very close relationships with some good friends. The thing is I hid the extent of my addictions from them too and so they did not know that I needed help.

I think close friends and family will open their doors to us no matter what, addicts may just be too shut down to accept their love, assistance and support. It is amazing the extent a person will go to hide their addictions from others and themselves.

So to those of you who have opened your door to accepting support and love, bravo! For those who still struggle with this within, know that you are in truth never alone.

© 2009

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