Living or Dying?

I think most people have heard of this saying: are you living or dying?

In the last days of my addictions, I finally REALISED what it meant to be dying and not living my life.

To know in my mind what is dying, is not the same as truly experiencing what dying in my physical body was. During this time, I was starting to question about the meaning of my own life, and I took time to just try to clear my head. The deeper I contemplated, the more I felt and knew my physical body was in a state of chaos. I became more aware of the unhealthy state I have caused it to be. On hindsight and with all the work I have done on myself, I realised that I was so numb to how I was treating my physical body. My body was choked up literally with toxins in every single cell of my being and every single pore of my skin. I REALISED that I was not living. Every inhalation of smoke was a dying process. Every sip of alcohol was contributing to the decay of my organs. I was dying and I was consciously contributing to its quick demise.

It was one of my wake up calls.

Till this day, I am still 'paying the price' of my negligence, and I am still dealing with the side effects. I know my liver is not functioning as healthily as it should but I am pro-actively taking steps to improve things through my diet, through exercise and also taking suitable supplements. Thank goodness I had the sense to quit smoking sooner and I did exercises like chi-running to clear my lungs. To this day, I am still doing chi-running and reaping the positive benefits.

I made a commitment to LIVE and I am glad I did :-)

© 2008 Shamala Tan

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