Spirituality Malaysia : High On Life

High On Life
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Shamala Tan on 05 December, 2008 10:13:00
 
My idea then, of enjoying life meant drinking excessively, smoking excessively,
and seeking out other 'interesting' substances to get a better high. I paid the
price of course the next day after every binge....feeling sick, tired,
dehydrated with my head banging continously.
It was easy to slip into a state of denial to even think that these things were
enjoyable. When I think back on why I did all the things I did, I realised that
I didn't really have a big reason. It was like one thing just led to another. I
am quite sure that most addicts feel the same way. And when asked why do they do
it, they would say they enjoy it!
Besides the lack of goals in life, I believe that I was just absolutely bored,
as if I was just waiting for something to happen. Of course nothing was going to
happen if I myself didn't make it happen.
When I was finally able to cross that line, determined to make things happen,
determined to live a life, determined to make a difference and plant something
on the soil of the earth for future generations, I realised that all that I was
waiting for in life was within me. It took a couple of years of purification in
body, mind and spirit to come to that realization.
Experiencing a High On Life did not come from outside of me, it now comes from
within me. The best part is, there are no hangovers! :-)
© 2008 Shamala Tan