Spirituality Malaysia : Become healthy through unlearning...

Become healthy through unlearning...
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Shamala Tan on 01 September, 2009 10:25:00
 
Yesterday I was observing my daughter playing with her friends and I saw some
very interesting interactions. My daughter is a four year old emotional
manipulator! :-) I observed that she made some suggestions to her friends, but
they didn't buy the idea, and immediately she folded her arms, sat down and
pouted. Her friends immediately came to her and decided to do what she
suggested. I know that my daughter will keep on doing this to her friends
because it works! She has tried to do this at home but it never works.
In the adult world, people at the workplace and in relationships do the same
thing. They are like little children in adult bodies. They pout or give people
the silent treatment when things don't go their way, and I think most people
learned this from a young age, just as my daughter is learning. Why do people
give in when someone mis-behaves? For the most part, I think most people are
afraid to be rejected, they are afraid that if they don't give in they will lose
something. The emotional manipulator and the enabler are equally responsible for
the unhealthy behaviour and responses, they play up each other's weaknesses and
fears. And this is why romantic relationships and working relationships at the
office can become toxic and dysfunctional.
It is strange but true that people who have healthy relationship practices are
in the minority. And the same minority group started out by unlearning what the
world has taught them.
As a life coach myself, it looks like I have my work cut out for me to undo what
my daughter is now learning in the world we live in. Wish me luck! :-)